To Purchase Agricultural Land
by YummyFoods
Summary: Dean asks Castiel to find out some dire information for a hunt. Poor Cas has no idea what he's getting himself into until it's too late. Involves wooden clogs, rice paddies, and koalas.


**A/N:** Hey there, guys! YummyFoods again. I'm trying to get back in the mood of writing Cas and Dean (I've fallen into a pit of Sabriel and I just can't get out), so I wrote this. It was a sorta funny idea in my head, but I don't know how it turned out on paper. You be the judge! And to the people who are reading my fic _Desperation,_ fear not. It's coming. Life has been...strenuous to say the least. :/

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing herewithin, except for Mr. Fitzgibbons. But who really cares about that?

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><p><strong><span>To Purchase Agricultural Land<span>**

Castiel was exhausted. And considering that he was an almighty, immortal soldier of God, that was saying something.

He had traversed the world in its entirety not once, but twice today, vainly searching for one Alfred Eugene Fitzgibbon's agricultural land. Mr. Fitzgibbon had been killed by an unknown monster and upon studying the corpse, Dean had asked the angel to find out why the fifty-seven year old man had purchased farm ground.

What this had to do with identifying and obliterating the monster was completely lost on Castiel, and he scrutinized the mortal with a bewildered and knitted brow for a few seconds before flying away in search of the dead man's land deeds. After all, while the angel may have been a supreme being, he was no expert on hunting. If Dean thought that becoming familiar with Alfred's properties would help the hunt, Cas was more than willing to do so.

But after searching every nook and cranny of Mr. Fitzgibbon's home, the angel became slightly discouraged. It would appear as if the man had owned no land whatsoever; he had been renting his home for the past seven years and no other deeds existed in the town.

Dean had claimed that the victim had owned farmland with such a conviction that Cas was sure the mortal hadn't been wrong. Obviously he just wasn't looking in the right spots.

The angel took to the skies once again and proceeded to make an entire sweep of the state of Nebraska, searching for any land that had the mortal's essence still lingering to it. If the man had owned land, surely he would have visited it at least once in his lifetime, and humans left faint residual trails of their souls everywhere they went. It would be quick and easy work. Once he found out exactly what farm the man had owned, Castiel would then be able to find out why he had purchased the land, and then he could return to Dean with the answer.

_Odd,_ Castiel thought, _Mr. Fitzgibbon owns no land in Nebraska._

The angel widened his search to the Midwest.

Then the continental United States.

_Perhaps he owned a sugar cane plantation?_

Castiel flew to South America, Mesoamerica, and the Caribbean, finding no luck in any place.

_Mayhap he possessed a tulip plantation?_

He soon found himself in Holland, which proved as fruitless as it was perplexing. Why humans would want to wear shoes of wood escaped him. Even to him they seemed uncomfortable.

Just to be thorough, he flew across the entirety of Europe.

_Rice paddies. Alfred Eugene must have invested in the rice crop._

Asia was just as devoid of Mr. Fitzgibbon's essence as the rest of the world was.

Castiel flew to Australia next, thinking that perhaps the victim had enjoyed eucalyptus. It would seem that he had not taken a liking to the koala's nourishment during his lifetime.

The angel next flew over Antarctica.

Now he was just getting desperate.

_Surely_ Dean had been correct when he said that the dead man had owned farm ground—why else would he send the angel to find out _why_ he had owned land if he hadn't actually owned land in the first place? Castiel must have just missed something.

Morale bolstered, the angel took flight once more, vowing to be much more thorough this time around. He flew over every single country and every miniscule, unknown island, his celestial blue eyes sharp and ever-searching for Alfred's unique soul signature that would pinpoint his agricultural properties.

Four hours later, nothing.

The immortal heaved a sigh from his vessel's lips. There was, without a doubt, no way that the victim had owned any land of any kind in the world. But if that was the case, why had Dean been so sure of the fact? He hadn't been trying to get rid of the angel for a while, had he? Castiel would just have to tell the mortal that he had been mistaken, and they would have to find another way to identify the monster plaguing the town.

He landed in the seedy motel room the Winchesters had rented and both of them started a bit when he suddenly burst into existence right beside them.

"So? What'd you find out? You've been gone all day," Dean asked eagerly.

"It would appear that Alfred Fitzgibbons has owned no land of his own in his entire lifetime," Castiel said in that rumbling monotone of his. "Therefore, I am unable to tell you why he purchased any land of agricultural use."

Both Winchesters stared at him in a flabbergasted sort of way. Dean was looking at the angel with his mouth open a bit, brows high as if to say "What is this I don't even…" Cas continued looking at them both steadfastly, not understanding their puzzlement.

Presently the eldest mortal returned to himself and dragged a hand over his face in what appeared to be an attempt to physically wipe the expression off his face. "Cas," he sighed, "I said, 'Go find out why Alfred bought the farm.'"

Castiel was aware of this. Hence flying over the entirety of Earth twice in one day. He continued to stare at the mortal, waiting.

Another sigh escaped Dean's lips. He felt kinda bad for making the poor angel turn the world upside-down for nothing. "Cas, it's a euphemism. I meant that I wanted you to find out why he died, not whether he was a farmer."

The angel's brow crinkled as he narrowed his eyes at Dean. "Well that," he growled, "is the most ridiculous expression I've ever heard."

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><p><strong>AN:** So...funny? Or not? Humor's never really been my strong suit but I'm trying to work on it. Please leave me a review and let me know where it could use improvements or where I had things spot on!

Thanks! Keep on keepin' on! :D


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